Self Harm
Understanding self-harm
Self-harm is when someone deliberately hurts themselves as a way of coping with overwhelming emotions, difficult experiences or painful memories. For many young people, it is a way of managing distress rather than wanting to end their life. However, self-harm can still be dangerous, and it’s important to get support.
You’re not alone, and there are people who will listen without judging you.
On this page you’ll find guides full of information for children and young people who deliberately harm themselves, explaining what self-harm is and offering self-help advice. Easy read versions are also available.
Why do people self-harm?
Everyone’s experience is different, but young people tell us they may self-harm to:
- cope with overwhelming emotions
- express feelings they can’t put into words
- turn emotional pain into physical pain
- feel more in control
- escape difficult memories
- stop feeling numb or disconnected
- cope with thoughts of suicide without acting on them.
Understanding what’s behind these feelings is an important first step towards finding other ways to cope.
When should you ask for help?
It’s a good idea to seek support if:
- self-harm is becoming your main way of coping
- you’re finding it harder to stop
- you’re self-harming more often or taking greater risks
- your injuries need medical attention
- you’re also struggling with anxiety, depression or thoughts of suicide.
Talking to someone
Speaking about self-harm can feel frightening, but many young people say they feel relieved once they’ve told someone.
You could talk to:
- a parent, carer or other trusted adult
- a teacher or school wellbeing lead
- your school nurse
- your GP
- a counsellor or mental health professional.
If talking feels too difficult, try writing your thoughts down first.
Things that can help
Different strategies work for different people. You could try:
- going for a walk or exercising
- drawing, writing or listening to music
- spending time with friends or family
- looking after a pet
- joining a club or sports activity
- keeping a diary or web-log
- talking to someone you trust.
Some people also find that delaying the urge to self-harm or making self-harm less accessible helps the feeling pass.
Social media
Social media can be a source of support, but it can also expose you to content that makes difficult feelings worse.
If you notice certain accounts or posts increase your urge to self-harm, consider muting, unfollowing or avoiding them, and look for positive, supportive online communities instead.
